“Some things you just can’t question. Like you can’t question why two plus two is four. So don’t question it, don’t try to look it up. I don’t know who made it, all I know is it was put in my head that two plus two is four. So certain things happen. Why does it rain? Why am I so sexy? I don’t know.” – Shaquille O’Neal

“These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.” - Charles Barkley

“I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.” - Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player

“I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I’m the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I’m the good-quality dog meat. I’m the Alpo of the NBA.” – Shaquille O’Neal

“John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!”
Tom Hammond: “Wow, that’s a pretty strong statement. I guess I don’t have a good handle on world history.”
Bill: “Well Tom, that’s because you didn’t go to UCLA.” – Bill Walton

“They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds.” – Wilt Chamberlain

“They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn’t always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.” – Shaquille O’Neal

If I weren’t earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming. - Charles Barkley

I truly love the game of basketball. I truly love the game. I wouldn’t be playing if I didn’t love the game. - Michael Jordan (This one is kind of harsh)

If all I’m remembered for is being a good basketball player, then I’ve done a bad job with the rest of my life. - Isiah Thomas

There are really only two plays: Romeo and Juliet, and put the darn ball in the basket. – Abe Lemons

Print this out and read these funny basketball sayings again when you need a lift.